“Hey, Red! Forget about the Wolf, you’ve got bigger problems at home.”

This weekend marks the opening of the movie RED RIDING HOOD.

I won’t be seeing it. Wait, wait. I have nothing against the film. I’m sure that the writer worked very hard on the story, a crew worked very hard to make the sets and special effects look just right. That they cast the perfect actors and actresses.

Each and everyone who had a hand in the movie all deserve a round of applause even if there are no awards accompanying it.

As mentioned, I have nothing against the movie, other than the obvious fact that they’re trying to grab the TWIGHLIGHT audience. If they succeed, good for them, but I think they’re trying too hard.

Okay, that’s the last of my opinion of the movie. Now I want to talk a little bit about the original LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.

We all know the basic story. Girl who loves wearing her new Red Hood, is told by her mother to take a basket full of goods to her Grandma who lives way out in the woods. Along the way she meets a wolf, hungry and intrigued by the girl. She travels on to Grandma’s house. Only to discover the wolf has disguised himself as Grandma. She is later rescued by the Woodsman.

In some of the more gruesome tellings of the story, the Wolf ate Grandma before putting on her clothes. Ooo, yuck.

And for the life of me I can’t remember where the Woodsman comes into the story before saving the day at the end.

But all that, the Woodman and even the Wolf, aren’t all that important. There’s a greater problem going here that needs to be dealt with.

Why is Grandma living so far out in the woods, by herself?

Our main character is a girl with an interesting fashion sense, who lives with her single mother. We have never seen a father, have we? He probably died at some point (let’s make him heroic, and helped the King defend the land).

[Side note. This is why Red would never fit in with the Disney Princess’. In most of those classic tales, the girls don’t have they’re own mothers. PRINCESS AND THE FROG is the odd one out.]

Back to my nonsense. Red lives with her mom, who every so often remembers about poor old Grandma and sends the girl off with a basket full of goodies.

Who is Grandma? This little old later who looks forward to seeing her grandchild visit. Is she’s the mom’s own mother, or her mother-in-law? How independent is she? Able to take care of herself?

When was the last time the two women spoke to one another and didn’t use poor Red as a go between? Then to send the girl out into the woods knowing that there were dangerous wild animals out there?

Why hasn’t Grandma moved in with the rest of the family to be taken care of like she should be?

That last question is rather serious in our present day world where Grandmas are put into homes all by themselves, and every so often we remember them and go for a visit.

So, who’s the real bad guy in this story?

Ya, I probably thought too much about this. This is how I see stories sometimes, looking at the characters and what goes on beneath the main action.

I don’t think my story would make a very good movie, do you?