"The Sad Day the Cat Wore A Mask"

Thirty-One years ago today, I put a mask on my cat.

I had only been reading comic books for a couple of years, if that, but had fallen in love with all the super heroes. One of the earliest books I picked up was a reprint of JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #100 which had dozens and dozens of heroes in it. I reread that story over and over, and I tried to learn about all of heroes.

I had only begun to draw them. (I've long destroyed those pictures.) Once I drew a hero I called "Captain Combo" (dumb I know), whose costume was made of every single one of the super heroes I knew about.

In my childish thoughts, Captain Combo needed a sidekick. What better partner could there be than my cat Sunshine? So I drew a mask with all the hero emblems on it, cut it out the eye holes and tried to put it on the cat's face. To say Sunshine didn't like the idea would be an understatement. Don't know why the cat wouldn't wont a secret identity. Wouldn't you?

I never got a second chance at putting the mask back on Sunshine because we had to take my grandfather to the doctor's office, and that day would change our family's lives forever.

The day was already strange, and for those of us who believe in the supernatural side of the universe, sometimes things happen all at once and you wonder what else is going to happen.

We had been living down at my grandparents house to take care of Dad for a while, as my grandmother had passed away only nine months earlier.

That was the day of the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana; it was also the day that our cousins left to become missionaries in Taiwan. It had two major things happening, for us a third thing was about to happen.

We took my grandfather to the doctor's office. Being my mother (his daughter), her brother, and my father. My sister and I were basically tagalongs, we went everywhere as a family.

Less than a mile away, us kids waited in the waiting room. As stated, I was on my way to becoming a comic book artist and so had a pad of paper and a pencil.

The doctor examined Dad and even said something like 'this is the best I've seen you in a while.'

Then we guided him back out to the car and my father and uncle helped him get into the car. That's when it happened. My father, who had his arms around my grandfather at the time and half way into the car, swears he could feel the soul leaving.  My grandfather was dead.

What was I suppose to do? This was now the third family death in a very short time.

I was angry, but didn't have the strength to even break the pencil I was holding. I so wanted to, but couldn't. It was like my hands were numb.

So with the world celebrating a royal wedding, our family had very little to celebrate. Yet we did celebrate in a way, that my grandfather was now reunited with his love. For nine months earlier he had told her "Keep the gates open."

He died of a broken heart.

I couldn't draw a super hero to save him from that, I couldn't draw one to save us from the pain of loss.

We would have to be each other's heroes to get us through the days, weeks, months, and years to follow.

Sunshine the cat never did wear the mask, but became a source of comfort as I held it and it purred back. So in a way he became the perfect sidekick when needed.

Anxieties, we all have them I know, but...

As I write this, my father is heading to the doctor’s office, five days ahead of his appointment. He’s okay, but has had an odd rhythm to his heart beat for the last couple of weeks. He had a pace maker for several years now and maybe it just needs some adjustment. His regular doc said to see the heart specialist a little sooner just to be certain.

I mention that in starting this blog out of concern for my father. He has supported his son for so many years, far more than what should be expected of him. I love him and the rest of my family very much.

I’m at the point of my life that I should be taking care of my parents, be married and have a family of my own.

But that’s not how things are.

Am not blaming this ‘economic down turn’ or recession, or whatever you call it, for the situation I’m in. I’ve been here a whole lot longer then that. Certainly cannot comparing myself to so many people out there who are suffering far worse.

But I feel guilty not being a better support to my family, or to my fiancée. A fiancée who has been so patient with me, that if it wasn’t for my financial situation I would have married her years ago. Should be at her side constantly, but I’m not and that makes me feel terrible.

I am blessed with the current job I have, but it’s only two days a week and will end in February. I don’t know what I am going to do next.

Also, don’t know what else I can do to find a job that I’m not already doing.

I’d prefer a job at one of the studios, especially in animation, but it doesn’t have to be; “I’ll bring my own broom.” A long-term job does need to be in the Burbank/Glendale area so I can be near my fiancée and she can keep her job once we’re married. Suggestions?

Don’t mean to run down this path again and complain to you all about my problems, I’m just in the mood to write this out as I wait for my dad to get back home with a report from the doc.

You know, as bad as yesterday’s headache was (I see people are regularly reading the blog about my killer headaches), it’s really nothing compared to worrying if your parent’s heart is going to stop.

My dad just got home. The doctor was able to explain to him what the odd rhythm is, and that the pace maker has recorded a whole lot more of them. He also explained why my dad has been feeling them more often recently.

It turns out not to be anything to really be concerned about, thank God. So with the answers provided the anxiety is gone.

But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about him and the rest of my family and praying that I can do more for them.

Thank you Lord.

Kevin Paul Shaw Broden

The Waiting

The Waiting.

Well, surprise, surprise, you didn’t have to WAIT long for me to post another blog. But this one is more personal than previous ones.

Anyone who know me, read a few of my blogs, or my brief grumbles on Twitter, will tell you that I have been WAITING for a job for a very long time.

People say I have the “patience of Job.” I would never wish to have to go through what Job did. I’ve told people never to pray for more patience, because God will provide it and provide more reasons to need patience.

So I joke that I’ve been playing the “waiting game,” as I wait to hear back from producers, publishers, and job’s I’ve applied for.

For this past week, I and many other members of my family have had to WAIT on something no on really wants to arrive. Death.

Earlier this year, one of my aunts died after many years of suffering from a terrible illness, she had it nearly as long as I have been alive. She lived a good life through out the pain, but then finally it was over.

Now, this week, we lost another aunt. In comparison to her sister-in-law, she was suffering from cancer for a very short while.

She had already lost her husband a few years ago, and her son was killed in Vietnam, so for her the WAITING on the approach of death was also the reunion with her family members in Heaven with the Lord.

The cancer was quickly taking over and winning, but her Faith made her strong and she was content in her Wait because she knew the rewards that were to follow.

This past Sunday, she closed her eyes and went to sleep. A peaceful sleep that even our visits to her room could not waken.

Now came the hardest of the WAITING, and that was for us; her family and friends.

Over the next several days, she remained in that peaceful sleep. Her breathing continued as the rest of her body failed. Each moment we thought would be her last, and yet her body held on.

Our WAITING finally came to an end this Wednesday evening.

Though the waiting is over, our pain is not gone. Whether it be loss or guilt, we hurt that our family member is not with any longer. Yet we know we are only WAITING for the time when we will join them in eternity.

Selfishly I think of all the things in my life that my aunts, uncles, grandparents, or another good friend that past in the last two years, won’t get to see whether it be my career in animation, or published editions of my comic book writing. Most of all I feel bad that they won’t be there for my wedding.

And there is more WAITING, as my fiancée waits on me. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m waiting on getting married until I’ve got a regular job to build up on. How she puts up with the waiting, and with me, only the Lord knows.

…they that WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31 KJV)