I normally write and post my blog on Thursday, but since I was able to post, both the comic and novel chapter on Tuesday why not try to force the blog to go up Wednesday.
Enough of my normal humor, I’m writing this blog and hope to post it on Wednesday, October 20, 2010 to give my two cents worth related to this being “Spirit Day” and support anti-bullying. I don’t have anything purple to wear today, so this blog will have to do.
‘My two cents’ may be all that my thoughts and experiences are really worth compared to those kids who have suffered so much that they felt that the only way out was by ending their lives. I can’t compare my experiences to them.
With that, I want to at least right about what experiences I did have.
Bullying began for me in elementary school. For some reason because I wore glasses some of the other, students thought I was smarter than them. It wasn’t true, I struggled for every C I got.
There are three bullies I remember from those first years of school. One event turned into some fight that he actually punched me in the stomach and I passed out. The strange thing there is that after that event he and I became good friends over the next months and years. I invited him to my birthday parties even.
The second of these was a guy who got his jollies out of picking on just about everyone, including the teachers. It got so bad that they kept sending him up an extra grade each year until he was finally out of the school. The teachers couldn’t do anything with him. The sad thing is that I recently learned that he was homeless and living under a bridge.
The third of these elementary school bullies I truly don’t remember, but a couple of years ago I was approached by him to meet and have lunch. It was part of his alcoholics anonymous 12 Step program. He had to go and apologize to anyone he had ever hurt or offended, and he remember something he had done to me. I don’t remember, so it was easy to forgive. Would it have been easy if I did remember? I’d like to think so, but don’t know.
In Junior High (or Middle School) I had bullies there as well. To avoid most of them I spent lunch either in my next period classroom or the school library (did improve my reading skills). One bully once shoved a container of what he claimed to be as marijuana into my face. When I knocked it aside and the contents were scattered all over the ground he tried to get my parents to pay for his ruined chewing tobacco. Another kid in the school was a real mean bully. He was physically smaller than the most and so picked on us weaker kids; he created a bulldog attitude to survive. I have no bad feelings towards him, and those that I did washes away the day of our Jr. High Graduation. Whether they were kids seeking revenge, or just bigger bullies than him, grabbed hold of him put him in a supply closet and shaved his head. I had survived those two years (and actually two schools), a whole lot better than he had.
High School wasn’t much better. Again, I spent much of my free time in the library or away from other students as I could. I know that my shyness and staying away from others resulted in other problems in the years to come, but I survived those as well. Though the water balloon in the face that shoved me back into the handle of my locker certainly didn’t feel good.
Once I reached my High School years I had begun to mature in my thinking more in how I handled things even if it was more passive aggressive then most people would.
One day in my Freshman year, I did something no one is supposed to do. I wandered into “Senior Corner” and was quickly approached by two football player sized guys. “Let’s can him.” Before they could grab me, I looked at them and said, “What can? I’ll get in it for you.” They looked at me, realized that I wasn’t going to let them have any of their fun, and then walked away.
A similar event happened during Swimming Class. I liked to get into the water, but was terrified of the diving board and everyone knew it. But on day came the time the coach required us to all jump from the high dive. I got up there and froze. I don’t know how long I was up there, but long enough that the couch came up and pushed me off the board. I splashed into the water. Still never went up there again, but I got past that. But it wasn’t good enough for the class bully. This guy was always kicking at me on the stands or pushing me around the water. Than one day as the bell rang for us to hit the locker rooms I was climbing out of the pool and he turned around and shoved me back in. I fell face first into the water and stayed there. Passive aggressive me won again, because the bully leapt into the water and pulled me out. Realizing that I was okay, he got upset and screamed, “don’t ever do that again.” “Me?” What had I done? The important thing was he didn’t pick on me again.
As stated above, I cannot compare my life to others who struggle not only with the bullies of the world, but how people including their families see them. I have none of those experiences. What I can say is that I survived even if at the times I didn’t think I would.
Wish I could promise that everything is going to turn out okay, “It gets better,” but what I do know is that I survived.
So this is my little blog about my experience being bullied it doesn’t feel like anything. Maybe I’ll still post a regular writing related one tomorrow.